second chance..

They said giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet in their gun because they missed you the first time. Giving them a second chance is simply exposing yourself to the hurt again. When it didn't works for the first, it will also not works for the second time.. But sometimes you need a second chance because you weren't ready for your first.

Oh well.. After debating here and there, pride said “it’s crazy”, experience said “it’s risky”, reason said “it’s pointless”, my heart whispered: “give it a try”.. I follow my heart. Oh yes I’m the girl who stupid enough to love you again after you broke my heart years ago.

Maybe I’m too positive sometimes. I trained my mind to see good in every situation. My best friends said I’m too loyal. When two people really care about each other, they always find a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is. True.

After all, you don’t get to choose, you just fall in love and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know you love them so much except sometimes they drive you completely insane – no one can explain it. And the reason it’s so confusing is because it’s love. And if love didn't have challenge, what would be the point? In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take. And I don’t want to feel regret in the future.

Before I used to think like this: “If you ignore me, I’ll ignore you. If you don’t make an effort to start the conversation sometimes, we won’t talk. If you don’t put in the effort, why should I?” but one thing I learned in here, no matter who’s doing it first, what matter is their response. I’m so glad that I did it.

Here is one of my new rules: “if you don’t ask then the answer will always be no”. So I took the chance. If the answer is "yes", nice, if the answer is "no", so be it, at least I've tried. And I will have no hard feeling toward it. My friend once said “if you don’t fight for what you want, don’t cry for what you lost.”  

I fall in love with him without knowing how or when or why. I fall in love with him straightforwardly without complexities or pride. My problem is that I can’t stay mad. I always end up forgiving people even if they don’t deserve it. I think there are two kinds of forgiveness, the kind that when you forgive you’re also giving them another chance, or the kind where you forgive but move on without them. I usually give people more chances that they deserve but once I’m done, I’m done.

Although it did not end like I wanted, but it's worth. It made me feel something, it taught me something. Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don’t care, but because they don’t care. They can make the best excuses if you’re not important for them. Yes, everything happens for a reason, and sometimes things happen because you’re stupid and make bad decision. But if you’re not willing to look stupid, nothing great is ever going to happen to you. A second chance doesn't always mean happy ending. Sometimes it’s a chance to end things right.

You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning and you know you’re on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back. I still believe in second chances, but I don’t think that everyone deserve them. I don’t leave because things are hard. I leave because it’s no longer worth it. The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off. Surprisingly this time so much easier to let go and finally I made the confession. I feel so relieved. Anyway, how will you know if it’s the right decision if you never make it? I did enjoy the time, so I didn't waste my time. All my curiosity paid off :)

My conclusion? Giving a second chance is ok, but giving third chance is stupid! Hahaha..

xoxo!